Let’s not beat around the bush.  Everyone is talking about that final scene, so let’s start with the final scene.  It’ll be a candid chat from one Delena shipper to others.  And not others. 

There’s some disappointment among the scores.  The big, forewarned-it’ll-happen-since-season-two-love-scene between Damon and Elena finally happened, but it came with a catch – coming from what seems like two sore losers that don’t like this arrangement at all in Caroline and Stefan.  Weaving those two moments together of Damon/Elena and Stefan/Caroline ruined the passion of the scene, even though I’m pretty certain there were plenty of people rewinding their DVRs a multitude of times.  Is that the real reason for the long faces though?  Everything just seemed so off, and we’re probably not dealing with the epic romance we thought we’d be getting. 

Let’s check the scorecard.  Elena has been hot for Damon ever since she became a vampire.  True.  Elena has been calling Damon when she needed help, and constantly agreeing with him on things.  True.  Damon seems to be the only one who can calm Elena down.  True.  Elena has always had a curious attraction to Damon.  True.  Elena broke up with Stefan because she wanted to be with Damon.  Wait a sec…that’s not what she said last week. 

So, if that wasn’t her reason to Stefan, and their breakup was amicable, why in the world did the very first scene show an angry Stefan making the conclusion that she did this to be with Damon?  Then a few scenes later Elena tells Damon she broke up with Stefan for him.  What happened in between then and now that I missed?  Damon even offers to take Stefan out for a drunken, “bros before hoes” pity party and Stefan jumps all over him with the “Don’t pretend this isn’t the happiest day of your life.”  Huh? 

Because of this quick pairing, which on paper really wasn’t so sudden, what we got wasn’t a love scene.  It was hot, passionate, ripping shirts off vampire lust.  The stuff that is fun to watch, the stuff that sends you to that aching cold shower at 9 pm in the evening, but not the stuff that epic romances are made out of.  Granted, I wanted to smack Caroline for telling Stefan he and Elena were epic.  Ugh, not really.  She really needs to focus on her man, not Elena’s. 

Anyway, so that’s where Elena and Damon are right now.  They’re lovers.  Really hot, energetic lovers.  They’ll likely spend this time while Jeremy is on lock down with homicidal vampire tendencies banging in each other in every possible spot in the mansion.  Including that dungeon.  Hmm, dungeon sex.  Eventually reality will set in, and this whole sire thing will come up, and suddenly they’ll realize this is a purely physical thing.  It’s right around there that rational choices will have to be made.  Maybe.  While all of this is happening Klaus will be watching with a big smile and a bucket of popcorn while Stefan sets up more bastards to be vampires just so Jeremy can kill them.  I’m really envying Klaus right now.

Does Damon know about the potential sire bond (which Klaus saw a mile away)?  Oh, he has to suspect it.  He was the one that immediately recognized Tyler’s sire bond.  He’s very good at noticing things.  He had to suspect that some of Elena’s behavior was odd.  Did he intentionally play this whole thing to his advantage?  I don’t know, it wasn’t diabolical careful plotting.  But he was certainly open to seeing  where things would go.  He could after all plead ignorance.  It doesn’t matter what I speculate though, for they’ll have this out in the open pretty quickly.  Stefan will accuse, Damon will…respond.  And there’s the latest wedge between the brothers. 

Giving into lust is pretty normal vampire behavior so Damon and Elena were just fine.  Stefan’s behavior was the odd ball this week.  Elena breaks up with him and suddenly he’s jerkish and desperate?  He’s willing to push Jeremy far because Klaus is telling him to?  He wants the cure just so Elena will go back to what she was?  How can that be possible?  Even if she isn’t a vampire anymore, she’ll still be profoundly changed by this.  She’ll still remember she met Damon first.  She’ll still remember the horror of killing someone.  She’ll still remember what a raging jerk Stefan is being and what he did to Jeremy.  Why isn’t any of this sinking in with Stefan?  Why did he leave Damon and Elena alone in the mansion?  He could have stayed and made sure there was no funny business.  He practically handed her over to his brother.  He’s always been so much calmer and rational during difficult situations, at least when he wasn’t in ripper mode.  His actions are nothing short of odd these days.  Poor writing or a sign of something?  Not sure, but it’s confusing me. 

That final scene has also taken us away from celebrating one of the greatest moments ever in Vampire Diaries fan fiction to come true.  Matt and Jeremy are living together!  They have a house!  They can cook each other breakfast, make sure their ties are straight when getting dressed, and ride together to school and work.  When it’s all done they can sit on the couch and drink beer while watching TV.  It’s the epic bromance!  Oh right, there’s April.  Why can’t she have both?  She seems like she’d swing that way if she wanted.  She could do far worse.  I do give advantage Matt though since she’ll likely be turned off by all of Jeremy’s vampire killing weapons. 

But, but, I hear you all.  “Jeremy tried to kill Elena!”  Yeah, we saw that coming a mile away weeks ago.  Did anyone think he’d actually succeed?  It would either be Damon or Stefan saving her.  He loses Elena and gets Matt.  Major win here. 

I should also commend this show for finally moving this whole breaking the sire bond thing along.  So Hayley is scheming with Suresh, I mean Shane.  Why am I not surprised.  She’s got a thing for Tyler I see, which had me screaming by episode’s end, “How many love triangles can one show support?”  Although, I didn’t mind the whole Caroline/Klaus/Tyler thing this week.  I love seeing Klaus when he’s charming.  He had me melting, that’s for sure.  Caroline needs to lighten up when he’s like that, and thankfully she did.  She can hate him when he’s being a scheming jerk.  Which will be tomorrow.  Speaking of which, why hasn’t he un-daggered poor Rebecca yet?  She would have been a hoot at that stale Miss Mystic Falls party.

I’m also marveling how once again, Bonnie proved essential to the plot and she was never even there.  Those witches have some really impressive power.  I didn’t even notice Gaby Douglas, so I’m sure she showed up to the set via network stunt casting meddling and they quickly figured out the girl couldn’t act.  Luckily she has her day job.  And an IMDB credit for later trivia purposes. 

In retrospect, “My Brother’s Keeper” ended up being more about horny triangle attractions than actual pure love and friendship.  I say everyone sleep with everyone else, get it out of their systems, and then go back to the people with whom they rightfully belong.  That means that dream pairing will finally come true.  Matt and Jeremy forever!!!


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