Shelbyville – The Simpsons

You remember the rival town of Springfield, don’t you?  The second of the twin cities, the one that believes that people should be allowed to marry their cousins?  The home of the Shelbyville Sharks (opponents of the Springfield Atoms), Rolling Rock, the Lemon Tree, the “Speed-E-Mart” (as opposed to the “Kiwk-E-Mart”), Joes Tavern, Fudd beer, not to their mention the bizarro versions of Springfield’s residents (aka their groundskeeper Willie is a female scottish person and Bart’s eerie counterpart above).  

One of my absolute favorite episodes of the Simpsons is the spoof of 24 called “24 Minutes.”  Thanks to Bart Simpson, Jack Bauer and Chloe O’Brian are dragged into a grand plot to prevent a stink bomb from going off at the Springfield Elementary bake sale.  After a grand adventure the mission is accomplished, but it takes Bauer and team off track from eliminating the other threat, a real nuclear bomb going off.  It explodes, but to everyone’s relief, it destroys Shelbyville instead.  It kind of went like this:

Jack Bauer: Bart Simpson, twelve minutes ago you made an annoying prank phone call to me. All units move in! (several armed Humvees and a helicopter break through the gymnasium. Dozens of armed agents surround Bart). I pulled every single field agent off all other cases to track you down and bring you to justice. It was a tough decision but I think I made the right call. (a mushroom cloud explodes behind him and everyone gasps) It’s okay. That was Shelbyville. (everyone sighs with relief)
 

While that is easily one of the funniest ending I’ve seen from The Simpsons, one has to wonder why since then Springfield’s sister city, or should I say more like a very awkward cousin, has only gotten a few quick mentions (one being the movie, which was in production right around the time “24 Minutes” was made).  It was such a great running gag for 18 seasons!  Their rivalry was so dysfunctional.  They both even had their own Milhouse!

I’m not the best person to be pitching episodes, but how about the Simpsons visit their sister city years after the nuclear disaster and find everyone is a happy and well adjusted mutant?  Grotesque, deformed, glowing, and thanks to a partnership with aliens Kang and Kodos, they’re all happy and living lucratively with a thriving tourist business.  The Simpsons family even come home with some tacky souvenirs, like “I survived the nuclear holocaust and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.” 

Or, just bring the intense rivalry back.  I’ll take either.  It’s been six seasons now, the time is ripe.  

Favorite quotes:

Mayor Quimby:  We’re twice as smart as the people of Shelbyville!

Lisa: What’s so special about this game anyway? It’s just another chapter in the pointless rivalry between Springfield and Shelbyville. They built a mini-mall, so we built a bigger mini-mall. They made the world’s largest pizza, so we burnt down their city hall.
Homer: Heh, heh, heh. Yeah, they swore they’d get us back by spiking our water supply. But they didn’t have the guts.
Marge: (drinks the tap water) Ooooh. The walls are melting again.

I’m just tipping the iceberg here.  There’s plenty of current TV shows out there I don’t watch that have had very painful character deaths.  Heck, The Vampire Diaries alone kills off everyone and I only listed one (Kol Mikaelson was a big runner up).  Share your choices and why you want to see them back.  Just make sure they’re current shows, because it’s kind of hard to bring back characters in shows that are no longer on the air (I don’t want to hear about the possible reunion movie).  Sorry Joyce Summers and Lone Gunmen fans, thems the rules!  

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